1. |
Program Notes
03:07
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2. |
Stray
02:59
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drive home, northbound
with sunlight sprawling on fallow ground
revealing curves across the plain
departing words keeping me insane.
ring this chord dry
of everything I’ve tried to say
in order to convince you
that you’re not the only one
this is not the only way of distracting myself from you.
with plastic cups and metal cans
the movement steps but it never stands
when I wake up to the golden grain
and pull the curtain back to hide the pain
leave home, small town
leave someone calling
to think I almost missed you lying there
hidden by morning light
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3. |
Does It
02:42
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spring came back and you made tracks
through the morning dew in the tall grass
in the empty lot next to the apartment
the same one that you've been hiding at
and you notice how you start to feel
like the life you live isn't so real
anymore you can't control, you can't explain
still don't know how you got your shoes wet
but finally, there's something worth contending with
shadows lurking just at the mention of it
are my defenses coming to the rescue
as if what I know can save me but does it save me
so you'll go for a walk and get caught up tying knots
you turn the music up before you turn the lights off
still thinking in your head of all the differences
but you really shouldn't mind
fighting something worth contending with
sunlight bursting and the sound of breathlessness
pulling guard down from the edifice
what I know can save me but does it save me
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4. |
Silicon Valley
03:48
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in holding so still can you still sense what is real?
apologetic and destructive yet still
you’re spinning in place
not much you can change
disease pulls you closer in every day
you’ve been here before
both chaotic and warm
a stale breath of emptiness closing the
door to the future and past
moments too blurry to last
are never coming back
triggered your fight or flight
blast off like satellites
it’s getting harder to fight
you said don’t waste your time on me
all of your attempts to save me will end in defeat
just like every battle you tried to fight for me
when I couldn’t you said oh so gently
when you showed me your heart
I followed you intently into the dark
where you’ll explain you can’t remain
as indifferent as you’ve always been
for reasons I could never comprehend
without timing your plans
you left them all in my hands
here’s hoping they’re spinning in circles again
somewhere else, somewhere new
a better place to renew
false hints in your eye left us on standby
chalk it up to signals misread
find truth in words never said
it never got that bad
pack it up and take it back
never different, never the same
words complicated and plain
couldn’t describe it now
write it up and take it down
left us all with time to react
but still it hurts bad
I saw the signs
didn’t believe it was true
but I know what I saw in your eyes
on a different plane
I spoke to you calmly
you thought of me fondly again
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5. |
Stone Cold
04:30
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when we set off to find ourselves
we find ourselves in someone else
left on repeat I felt defeat so subtly
in holding you closer, you faded away
through misguided lessons we spent half a year in decay
life rearranged, not much has changed
I’m still the same
and away isn’t the only way to fade
still the same in a different shade of gray
time breaks down fear
it hasn’t been weighing me down
for a while
stoned, cold, in denial
and I can see through
I can see the other side now
I finally figured it out
there’s comfort in letting go
I spend my time all alone now
sometimes get lonely but i
will bail on our plans tonight
I’ll say I lost track of time
when it gets too hard to swallow the truth
my dogs always there in our room
digging a hole now
it’s easy to see
when I set these boundaries
I meant them for me
and I’ll try to forget
the time it spent drilled in my head
even if you miss me, you can’t live in my memories.
but the stories read aloud to themselves
and in the candlelight my acquiescence melts
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6. |
Jump Square
02:35
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before I speak I put my head underwater,
before you’re alive they put your body underground
the words you say left as an offering
to those you leave behind closed eyes
like the stars
my movement never ceases
my work is never done
just like the other night
when I tore down your wretched wall
there is a dragon lying hid in the deep
hiding the treasure that we seek
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7. |
Walled Garden
02:31
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time spent searching
time spent searching for you
in the garden alone
dear god, where’d you go
I’ve been searching for you
and come to find out
what you left behind
beside the silence
was all I ever need
to hear from you
or anybody else
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8. |
Window
03:09
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suffering doesn’t even come close to me,
when I’m inside
once again I’ve gone out the window
i feel so safe in everything I can explain
remembering every detail
stolen books sitting on a shelf
like memories of meeting myself
the same old room,
with a bed I never get good sleep in
and real magic, they said,
two as one
resolve the situation
the animal will not sacrifice the part for the whole
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9. |
Last Gasp
03:16
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saving face
holding it all in again
faintly change
overthinking time away
make it end
can’t fade quick enough
chasing fate
orbiting all those around
pacing space
waiting patiently
I can’t be closed off
forever
to see
the real
closed off
forever
can’t be
the way
verse
see me
it won’t be again
see you
it makes no difference
hammer into shape
faintly change
make something new
deeply stirred but what a view
away is not an end
you have to choose
away is not the only way to fade
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10. |
Lockjaw
02:54
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find someone to talk to you wouldn’t know
someone whose objective perspectives
advise as to where you should go
making space for two-way conversations
relieve the gatekeeper of their post.
with confirmation bias behind us,
we speak amongst ourselves
just like we’ve always done
why don’t we see eye to eye anymore?
we can’t resort to exile
relief, the gatekeeper left their post
and will retire with the lights on
until you need it most
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11. |
Swerve
04:36
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ever wonder how it feels
other side of the median
kinder words with the wheel
no thought for previous
places or feelings
punch off blind into the dark
you don’t know
why I'll do it
then to prove it
cover up the music
off without a reason
a mark left permanent
but you wouldn’t know the difference
turned the headlights off at night
there was never chance
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12. |
Autonomic Tone
04:32
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you unlock and open the door
as I knock in five-four
I left the light on, let yourself in
in case you get home and I’m gone
like so often,
another quiet night waiting for something
but nothing could prepare you to just sit inside and find the one,
that something you’ve been waiting for
and searching all your life to find
a slow clock appears to be moving backward
you give me the call, just as I arrive
about five before ten
to give away the last, one, final breath
coming to amend itself
cold air rushes through the front door
the windows spill shadows across the floor
a slow clock appears to be moving backward
in the presence of another one keeping time,
and you feel like you’ve been falling behind
feel free to let go,
singing what you’ve always sung
blinded by the sun,
and what’s so uncomfortable
it will take you home
it takes us all home
a slow clock appears to be moving backward
in the presence of another one keeping time,
but it comes around in its own time
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